


Emotional Uncertainty

by VillainsbeFab



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Humor, I don't know what else to tag, Just read, M/M, based on real life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VillainsbeFab/pseuds/VillainsbeFab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin doesn't understand how he feels when a shirtless Arthur pulls him into a hug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is actually a written recreation of a particular incident that happened to me. I may have changed the setting but the thought is still the same. I hope you enjoy :) .

“Arthur! What the hell?!” a fully dressed Merlin couldn’t help but squeal in terror as a shirtless Arthur pulled him into a hug. All he could do was stand still as Arthur wrapped two strong arms around him. It took about half a minute before Arthur pulled away.

Their PE class had just ended and most of them were changing inside the gym’s locker room. Fortunately, there was no person in sight to witness the event, otherwise, it might have raised rumors. Arthur was his friend and he was afraid that rumors might just break that friendship that he treasures most.

“It’s called nude affection, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur replied as he rolled his eyes.

“And you chose now as an appropriate moment to show your affections?” Merlin asked.

“Don’t be such a girl!” Arthur told him.

They continued changing and left together, unaware of the figure behind the lockers that was holding back a fit of hysterical laughter.

Merlin couldn’t sleep well that night. The thought of Arthur pulling him into a shirtless hug kept replaying in his mind. Sure, Arthur often wrapped his arm around Merlin’s shoulder when they walked. But to hug the raven-haired boy with his chest bare, now that was something else. The thought always left that strange warmth in his chest and the mini-shockwave that travels back and forth in his stomach. He decided not to tell anyone but Gwen, who was a friend of both Arthur and Merlin.

It had been their Graphics class and they were working side by side on their drafting tables.

“He did what?!” Gwen asked disbelievingly after Merlin recounted the events.

“I don’t want to repeat it.” Was Merlin’s reply

“Really, Merlin? Arthur pulling you into a shirtless hug? That’s strange.” Gwen commented.

“Tell me about it!” Merlin replied.

Just as Merlin finished his layered circle, he realized he didn’t have a French curve to create an Archimedes spiral. “ _Perfect!”_ he thought “ _I have an excuse to bother Lancelot.”_

Lancelot was part of Merlin’s social circle. His quiet but humorous personality and his tall and handsome features were exactly what made Merlin have a crush on him. Merlin lost it when he found out what a gentleman Lancelot was.

“Hey, Lance! Do you have a French curve I could borrow?”

Lancelot gave him a small smile and said “It’s with Gwaine. You can take it from him.”

Gwaine worked on a table across Lancelot’s. When Merlin approached the table, Gwaine was almost done with the spirals.

“Wait a sec, Merlin. I just need to trace one more.” Gwaine told him.

“Okay.” Merlin shrugged his shoulders.

“So,” Gwaine spoke up as he traced the curve with his pencil “You like Lancelot, huh?”

“Shut up, Gwaine!” Merlin retorted, a slight blush creeping up his face.

“Too bad.” Gwaine continued, still not looking at Merlin. “Mithian and I were hoping you’d end up with princess Arthur.”

“And what makes you say that? He’s my friend, Gwaine!”

“Oh you know, just a certain little incident in the locker rooms earlier this week.” Gwaine gave a smug grin.

“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Merlin’s eyes started to avoid Gwaine’s.

“Really? You mean it wasn’t you he hugged when he was shirtless.”

“Y-yo-you saw—b-but how?” Merlin started to feel shaky.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Not unless you want me to.” Gwaine assured him and Merlin gave a sigh of relief.

The following day, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Gwaine and Lancelot sat together for lunch.

“So,” Lancelot spoke up “Care to tell me about what happened inside the locker room last Monday?”

Merlin’s eyes widened and he looked at Gwen, who pointed at Gwaine. He sent him an “I’m-going-to-murder-you-later glare.”

“Oh, you mean that?” Arthur spoke up. “Well, let me tell you what happened. I was changing innocently when Merlin suddenly hugged me while I was shirtless.”

“What?!” Merlin asked out loud, almost near the point of shouting.

“I didn’t do such a thing!” Merlin defended himself.

 “Really, if my memory serves me well, It was you who initiated the hug.”

“Merlin, did you tell me what really happened? Or was that a bent truth?” Gwen asked, an amused smile on her face. Lancelot was already holding back his laughter.

“I really didn’t—Gwaine! Gwaine tell them what really happened?!” Merlin continued to blabber.

“Okay,” Gwaine smiled “Merlin here practically threw himself to Arthur, wrapping his arms around the blonde.”

“Gwaine!” Merlin yelled at him.

“Okay, I believe Merlin’s story. No way he’d do that.” Gwen spoke up.

“I agree.” Lancelot added.

“Exactly! Arthur was the one who committed the crime, and Gwaine is in cahoots with him.”

“And what crime would that be?” Arthur asked smugly.

“Harassment!” Merlin replied.

Arthur stood up from his chair and walked towards Merlin’s seat. He bent down so that their faces were leveled with each other and their eyes met.

With a low, sexy voice, he said “It’s not harassment if you liked it.”

Merlin lost it. He squealed and covered his face with his hands. Arthur gave a laugh.

“Why are you doing this to me?!” Merlin spoke up, his voice shaky.

“Relax, I just wanted to mess with you, Merlin. I like messing with you because you’re my friend.”

The bell rang and everyone got up from their chair to proceed to the next class.

“See you around, Merlin. I love you!” Arthur waved to him as they parted ways in the hall.

Merlin could only wave back, wishing Arthur didn’t say those last three words to him all the time because then it wouldn’t be so special.

 


	2. Trigonometry Tests and Root Beers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feelings slowly become coherent and Merlin realizes that he just might be in love with Arthur, or maybe not. It's still freaking confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy. Don't hesitate to leave a comment, regardless of whether it is a compliment or constructive criticism.

Merlin’s feelings grew and their coherency withered. Part of him said it was nothing more than a passing fancy, another said it was purely platonic, a third one says it was something deeper. He didn’t know which one to believe.

Arthur rarely said  “I-love-you”  now, so that helped reduce his confused heart’s ache. But there were still a lot of little touches like hair-ruffling, wrapping of an arm around a shoulder and playful punches. Another thing that seems to baffle him is how Arthur’s eyes would sparkle and how his lips form into a gorgeous smile that, if Merlin hadn’t know any better, had a hint of fondness. Each time any of these things happen, Merlin just feels that shockwave of warmth that travels through his body. Was he really in love with Arthur? Maybe he was.

 

It had been an hour before their trigonometry exam.

“Did you manage to study everything?” Vivian asked Merlin as they waited outside the classroom where the test would be held.

“Not that much. I’m probably doomed.” Merlin replied.

“The test is just going to be about the oblique triangles and trigonometric identities.” Arthur interrupted.

“Are you sure?” Vivian asked.

“Yep, one-hundred percent. I cross my heart and hope Merlin dies.”

“Hey!” Merlin frowned “That’s just mean!” he turned around to walk away.

“I’m only kidding!” Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s shoulder and pulled him close as he caught up with him “Merlin, I’m sorry. I love you.”

There it is again!

“Too bad! I don’t.” Merlin replied. Arthur stopped dead in his tracks, Merlin stopping along with him.

“What?” Arthur asked seriously. There was hurt in his eyes.

Merlin’s heart shattered at the sight “I was kidding! There’s no need to take it seriously.”

Arthur heaved a sigh of relief “Good! Then say it!”

“Say what?” Merlin asked.

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin once again “That you love me too.”

“What?! Why?” Merlin heart was now beating fast.

Arthur tightened his grip around Merlin’s shoulder “Because, I won’t let you go until you do.”

“What? No!”

“Yes.”

Arthur’s grip tightened and Merlin was pulled closer.

“Arthur, don’t do this!”

“I won’t if you just say those four little words.”

Merlin was facing Arthur’s chest and he was now locked in place by Arthur’s arms.

“Fine! I love you, too! Now let me go before I die of suffocation.”

Arthur finally released him and Merlin regained his breath.

“It wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

“Do you always threaten your friends just to get them to reply?”

“No, only those who never do.” Arthur replied.

“Prat.”

“Idiot.”

Three hours later…

“Man, that test was draining!” Gwaine complained as he stretched after standing up from his chair.

“I know!” Gwen replied.

“Let’s stop by the convenience store. I need something to drink.” Gwaine suggested.

“Sounds good! I’m in!” Merlin said.

“I’ll go too!” Arthur added.

The four of them stopped at the nearest convenience store and Gwaine and Merlin bought something to drink while Gwen and Arthur simply chatted. Gawine and Merlin sat with them after purchasing their drinks.

“Is that root beer?” Arthur asked curiously, looking at Merlin’s bottle.

“Yeah, why?” Merlin replied.

“Can I take a sip?” Arthur asked as he grabbed the bottle from Merlin’s hands.

“Wait! I didn’t even say anything yet! Besides, it’ll be like kissing me indirectly!”

Arthur didn’t reply, instead, he made eye contact with Merlin, uncapped the bottle and took a sip, all while staring at Merlin.

Yep, Merlin was dying inside, and it was all Arthur’s fault. What the hell was Arthur playing at?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. :)


	3. Fast-food Restaurants and Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's feelings grow stronger. Along with it grows the threat of unrequited love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's another new chapter.

For Merlin, falling in love was easy; falling out of it, not as much. Usually, it takes a replacement just for him to get over a simple crush. He realized now that though his attraction towards Lancelot was strong, his attraction for Arthur was far stronger and deeper than he would have thought. He was finally able to conclude that he did love Arthur Pendragon, regardless of how much of an arrogant, selfish prat he is. But it had to remain a secret. You can’t trust anyone with such precious information. The moment the security is breached, Merlin’s hidden feelings are no longer safe. It’s a good thing he’s an expert at keeping secrets and pretending.

A threat to his security, however, was no more than his close friend Gwaine and his accomplice, Mithian.

“So,” Gwaine asked as they sat down to eat at a fast-food restaurant “How are things with Arthur?”

“Are we really at this again, Gwaine?” Merlin rolled his eyes, succeeding in suppressing any excitement he had inside.

“Oooh, do tell.” Mithian clapped her hands excitedly.

“Nothing!” Merlin replied.

“Liar,” Gwaine snapped back “Do you know how many sweet moments you’ve had with Arthur?

“What moments?” Merlin asked.

“The moments that make you look like a couple straight out of a chick flick.” Mithian replied.

“What moments? There are no moments!” Merlin defended himself “You guys watch way too many romantic comedies.”

“What moments?” Gwaine asked challengingly “Well, there was the shirtless hug.”

“And the frequent ‘i-love-you’s” Mithian added

“And the arm around shoulders moments.” Gwaine continued

“Oh, and that root beer incident Gwaine told me about!” Mithian added with an amused smile.

Merlin glared at Gwaine “Don’t worry, I only told her. No one else knows.” Gwaine assured him.

“The pairing of you and Arthur is my favorite OTP!” Mithian said excitedly.

“We call it: Merthur.” Gwaine said proudly.

“You guys are crazy and we have to eat.” Merlin said, effectively ending the conversation.

It was really hard to pretend to be firm when your emotions are a train-wreck.

The next day, they had gym and Arthur and Merlin were in the same class. Merlin loved dancing but Arthur was the opposite. But Merlin didn’t want to tell him how adorable he is when he’s struggling. After the class, they still had half the day to spend somewhere else since the school decided to prepare for the incoming sports competition to be held there.

“Call Gwaine and Leon. We’re going out to the nearest mall.” Arthur told Merlin as he wrapped an arm around Merlin (Instant butterflies!).

“What will you order?” Arthur asked Gwaine as they entered the fast-food restaurant.

“Oh, I’ll just check the menu.” Gwaine replied, mispronouncing  /me-nyu/ as /me-nu/.

“Isn’t that said as /me-nyu/?” Merlin suddenly spoke up.

“Whatever! Don’t judge me!” Gwaine replied.

“Hey, Merlin,” Arthur said as he sat beside Merlin.

“What?”

“Are you a menu?” Arthur asked.

Merlin knew what this was about, but he decided to play along.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because, when I see you, I see Me n’ U”

For Merlin, that was probably the corniest, yet also the funniest, pick-up line and he has ever heard of and so he made a mock, unimpressed face and said “Okay, I’m leaving.”

And Arthur threw his head back, laughing.

 Meanwhile, Gwaine was watching them, a knowing smile spreading across his face.

As Merlin got up to get a pair of spoon and fork, Gwaine passed by him, whispering “Merthur.” Then giving him a wink afterwards

“I hate you.” Merlin mouthed to Gwaine.

Merlin sat down beside Arthur once more and placed his tray on the table. From his peripheral vision, he saw Arthur lean closer to him and so he flinched and moved away.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Arthur asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Nothing. Ever since that tickling incident with Lancelot, I became more aware of the movements within my peripheral vision.”  Merlin replied.

“Oh, so you’re ticklish?” Arthur said,grinning.

“Err… no” Merlin replied.

“Really?” Arthur suddenly poked at Merlin’s side and Merlin jumped and gave a little yelp. “I see you’re _really_ not ticklish. How would you explain this?” he poked once again, and again and again.

“Arthur! Stop!” Merlin giggled.

Gwaine nudged Leon who was busy eating. Leon smiled at the sight along with Gwaine.

Afterwards, they continued to explore the mall. While doing so, they bumped into Morgana, who tagged along and Leon received an important call, causing him to leave.

It was around six that they decided to go home. Since their housed were far and no one brought a car, they decided to take a cab.

“It’s weird seeing you this nice, Arthur.” Morgana suddenly said on their way to look for a cab.

“I’m always nice!” Arthur said, looking surprised.

“No, you’re not.” Morgana replied “You’re often a mean, selfish brat.”

“I am not! Merlin, do you agree with her?”

“Well, sometimes. But you’re still nice, Arthur.” Merlin said.

“See! Merlin thinks I’m nice.” Arthur said, wrapping an arm around Merlin’s shoulders (he has to stop doing that. Merlin’s dying due to too much stomach butterflies.)

“Don’t bring Merlin into this!” Morgana retorted.

“Why? Merlin’s mine!” Arthur suddenly added.

 _WHAT!_ Merlin’s mind screamed.

“Pfft! Whatever. Gwen texted. She said I need to pick her up from the bookstore so I have to go.”

“Okay, bye!” Gwaine called out as Morgana left.

They finally hailed a cab and told the address. Gwaine sat on the front while Merlin and Arthur were left in the backseat.

“You know, Merlin, you never reply to my texts.” Arthur suddenly spoke up.

“Maybe because you never text me or even call.” Merlin replied.

“I don’t?” Arthur asked

“Yeah.” Merlin replied

“So, I’m spending the whole day tomorrow with Sophia, if she ever answers. Sometimes, she can be a bit clueless.”

“Oh,” Merlin’s heart shattered.

This was what he was afraid of. This was the price he had to pay when he fell in love with Arthur. Thoughts raced through Merlin’s mind, none of them positive. He loved Arthur but maybe Arthur will never love him back. He’s straight, after all and besides, he can’t compete with other girls simply because he’s not one. He has to face the reality that no matter how hard he tries, he’s still a guy. Straight guys don’t go for other guys. He hated the feeling of hope inside him, that feeling that he may still have a chance despite the obvious reality. He hated being disappointed after hoping. He became depressed. Just when he thought he could be happy, reality just smacks him from right behind his head.

When he arrived home, all he did was mope. More depressing thoughts raced into his head on how he could never find love or how people could never love him. He lay down on his bed and played the first movement of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata on his phone. Just as he was on the first few seconds, his phone began to ring. The caller ID showed Arthur. Merlin quickly answered it.

“Hi Merlin!” Arthur’s voice rang through his ears.

“Hey!” Merlin replied “What’s is it?”

“I was thinking,” Arthur said, sounding a tiny bit uncertain “do you want to go to the mall tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’d like that. But aren’t you going with Sophia?” Merlin replied.

“Nah, she had other plans. We can bring Morgana and Gwaine if you like.” Arthur added, sounding more cheerful this time.

“It’s alright with me.” Merlin smiled.

“So, uh, tomorrow then! I’ll tell Morgana and Gwaine.” Arthur said.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Merlin replied.

“Goodbye!”

“Goodbye.” Merlin then hung up his phone

Merlin smiled. At least there was something that made it up to him.


End file.
